How and When to Talk Engagement Rings With Your Significant Other

So you’re happily dating, and you’re ready to take your relationship to the next step. This realization marks the start of an exciting journey. And as one of life’s major milestones, it is necessary that you and your significant other are on the same page about a future proposal.

Maybe you’re daydreaming about our Fleur or Dahlia ring, or you’re browsing your favorite wedding dress styles on Pinterest. Whether you’ve already touched on the topic or you’re planning a conversation with your partner, discussing the future can be daunting.

Let’s discuss the big question and engagement-to-wedding details so you can move forward with excitement and confidence.

Relationship Synopsis

You might ask yourself: how long do I need to date my partner before I know they’re “the one”? First and foremost, recognize that there is no “one-size-fits-all” dating timeline. Many factors affect how/when you feel ready to take the next step.

A recent study reported that the average relationship length before getting married is two (or more) years, and the average engagement length for a couple is 16 months. These stats are a good reference, but remember: no one understands your relationship better than you do. Trust your instinct. If you want to prompt a conversation, be direct and lead with honest communication. Conversations about the future, marriage, shared values, and life goals are all indications that you and your partner are on the same page.

Have a Team Approach

The most important thing to recognize before planning the big question is an engagement is a team effort. And with this union, comes two sets of opinions, values, and preferences.

Modern day couples usually practice partnership equality. According to the same study, only 33% of proposals are a “surprise”, meaning the recipient had no expectation of a proposal coming relatively soon, or into the future. The actual details surrounding your proposal might be a surprise (the day, setting, etc.), but the event is likely built off of you and your partner’s joint decision to move forward to the next stage in your relationship together. 

Discuss Budget & Timeline

An engagement ring is your first wedding expense. And for most, it is one of life’s biggest purchases. Before you start looking at engagement rings, we recommend you and your partner set a joint expectation of how much money will go toward this meaningful investment. 

Many factors can influence your ring budget, but a common rule suggests that the cost of a ring should equate to at least two months of the buyer’s salary. For example, a recent survey reported that the average ring cost in 2022 was around $6,000. Other studies have reported that millennials (the most common marriage age demographic) spend an average of $3,000. Communicate with your partner about your financial situation or consult our budget guide for more helpful tips.

As you assess these details, it might be helpful to establish a wedding timeline. Keep in mind that wedding planning requires considerable preparation, with event venues and vendors booking dates months (or even years) in advance. For engagement rings, we recommend setting aside three months before the date of your planned proposal to ensure enough time to browse different styles, create something custom, or source a unique stone. 

Find Inspiration

The next step in the engagement ring process is finding inspiration. There are so many ring styles to choose from, and research can help pinpoint which designs suit your visual preferences and budget. Whether you’re browsing images from Pinterest, recalling vintage heirloom pieces, or narrowing down your favorite styles in existing collections, references are a sure way to determine your perfect fit. 

If you are the one initiating the proposal, don’t assume your partner doesn’t have an opinion. Most individuals are picky about the piece of jewelry they intend to wear every day into the long future. There is plenty of inspiration to sort through together—consult popular engagement ring styles, precious gemstones, or educate yourselves on the importance of diamond quality.

Be Patient

A wedding is one of life’s major milestones. Because there are so many details to sort through, it is easy to feel overwhelmed during the planning process.

In these busy moments, remember: the engagement stage should be one of the happiest and most exciting times in your life. Don’t let the stress take away from these meaningful moments. Surround yourself with people that are willing to help, offer sound advice, and validate your feelings. There is no rush—trust your partner, and enjoy the journey together. Your wedding will be beautiful because it’s yours.

With a dedication to fine jewelry crafted from quality materials, June creates modern heirlooms made to last. Shop our collection or create a custom ring with our design team.


Images by Kayla Bertagnolli and Meagan Lawler